never been fierdaused

fI wanna get lost from my life sometimes, sit on the side and watch the world go by, i wanna get lost and i dont know why.Have you ever lived my life, have you ever spent one minute in my shoes? if you havent, then tell me why you judge me like you do.I dont know what i want in life. I dont know what i want right now. All i know is that im hurting so much inside that its eating me, and one day, there wont be any more of me left. I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And i dont know what to do. I just know that the pain i felt so long ago, its hurting ten times more.im not saying i have nothing. Im not saying im gone completely. Its just sometimes its all a bit too much to handle. Sometimes i feel like its too much. Im not going to do anything stupid because i know it will get better, it has to right? Otherwise there wouldnt be anyone who would live past their teenage years. But for now, just for now, it hurts.Sometimes i wish i could just be a little kid again. So when life gets tough you can just play pretend. I wanna go back to when Disney World was the best place to be.When your biggest problem was learning to write your name and people didnt change and your friends were the same. And every time you were sad or you had a bad day,you could just run to father and it would all be okay. I wanna go back to no hurt…and no pain…just laughter. When everyone always lives happily ever after.Every morning you get up and put on a fake smile…but what if one morning you didnt would anyone notice?well i tell u my friends,life doesnt hurt until you think about how much things have changed, who youve lost along the way, and how much of it was your fault.